A Tale Of Sweet And Sour Life Between Spouses

The roots of discord * I had to go to the US from my home in India, To meet my ‘not-so-well’ 94 years old father staying with my sibling, Luckily, he survived the ordeal. He is still going ‘strong’, but for how long? Only God knows! * My spouse had supported my move initially, But […]

A Tale Of Sweet And Sour Life Between Spouses

The roots of discord

* I had to go to the US from my home in India,

To meet my ‘not-so-well’ 94 years old father staying with my sibling,

Luckily, he survived the ordeal.

He is still going ‘strong’, but for how long?

Only God knows!

* My spouse had supported my move initially,

But later, wanted me to postpone the visit,

As she too was facing health problems.

I weighed the situation – financial aspects, and her health problems.

I decided to go.

The impact

I had miscalculated the consequences – its negative emotional impact on our relationship.

I tried to communicate with her,

There was a cold response.

My action was below her expectations.

On my return, there was a complete social boycott from her side.

The conflict

* I was sad for my father, who was slowly slipping away,

From the family members – me, my mother and siblings.

I hoped for her moral support.

* But I was ignored.

Her ego had been bruised and I had to pay the price.

She has firmly disowned me.

There was no love lost, for me.

She remembered her friend’s advice:

‘This guy is a mama’s boy.

He can never be yours.’

Later

The social boycott is still continuing.

My apologies have no meaning.

She thinks me as an incorrigible, and incompetent guy.

Now I live an isolated life within my home.

And interact with my aging father over ‘Skype’,

His reflexes are slowing down.

He has almost stopped responding to me.

We still share life: reciting together our holy scriptures and a funny limerick.

A silver lining in the cloud

Me and my spouse, still have a common link:

Our pet dog Tessy.

She loves both of us.

She is confused over our behavior towards each other.

Her love to both of us is unconditional.

Since my return, she has welcomed me and accepted me with same love.

I wish, if I could have similar welcome from my spouse.

But it was not in my destiny.

My God fearing spouse, couldn’t shed her ego hassles.

Are we both behaving erratic?

Should I ask my children to help out?

It may disturb their peace of mind.

As parents, we should live in harmony, in gratitude to God,

For His blessings, in our life.

We seek His blessings to resolve this impasse;

A road block to happiness in our life!

If God be for us, who can be against us!

As we age, there is dilution – Law of Marginal Utility – in our enthusiasm towards physical attraction.

The innocent quarrels and the reconciliation later recharge the discharged ‘love’ battery in the mind.

It brings back the honeymoon days euphoria.

And it continues.

This is the sweet and sour life for most of us.

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