From The Diary Of A Failed Spouse, Who Learnt To Smile

We are successful parents, and a successful family. What all, a newly married couple dreams, is already blessed by God. Prosperity! Yes: adequate finances, more than what we need; Well settled, caring, married children; And we are both self-sacrificing, keen to live within own income, and faithful to each other. In our social circles, we […]



We are successful parents, and a successful family.

What all, a newly married couple dreams, is already blessed by God.

Prosperity!

Yes: adequate finances, more than what we need;

Well settled, caring, married children;

And we are both self-sacrificing, keen to live within own income, and faithful to each other.

In our social circles, we are considered a happily married couple, made for each other.

But, it is not wholly true.

Then what can be the problem!

There was an ego clash, on a specific issue, 4 decades ago.

The issue was no big deal:

The possessive attitude of the spouse, versus attending old parents.

The problem has been:

Inability to forget, and forgive;

The 4 decades old, verbal altercations,

And live in an amicable ambience!

Funny, isn’t it?

We are sticking to each other, as there is no suitable alternative.

Divorce is still considered a taboo, in our age group, in Oriental societies.

We are living an incompatible, and un-divorced life,

We intend to carry on,

Till death does us apart.

This is the way we live in Oriental societies, still.

The attitude is changing, but a bit slowly.

We live in isolation of each other:

We sleep in different bed-rooms.

We are a retired couple,

Self-employed, and operating from our own house,

We eat our breakfast, lunch, and dinner separately.

We share very little in our lives.

The real issue has taken a back seat.

The spouse has realised, that it is not so difficult to live life, independently.

The spouse believes:

“I am self-contained: socially, financially, and emotionally.”

She doesn’t need me.

As a corollary:

The spouse doesn’t respect me.

There is no love, where there is no respect.

One can’t beg for respect.

One can discuss, if the spouse is willing.

Or else, a marriage counsellor – with mutual concurrence – can help.

It may not be advisable to involve children to act as moderators.

* We have two options:

To live in isolation of each other,

Or, to reconcile our differences,

Remember, the good old honeymoon years,

And bask in the warmth and love of its memories.

It is our democratic choice.

* May God help us, not to act as spoil-sport in children’s lives.

If it doesn’t work out, then!

Let’s learn to be cheerful, in spite of our differences.

To contribute happiness and liveliness in our children’s life,

We pray to God,

To bless our children with continued respect, and mutual love with their spouses in old age.

Amen!

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